Biscuit Boasts

Hey, yo! What’s up, humans? I’m Biscuit, the ultimate ruler of this joint! Born on Groundhog Day in 2019, in good ol’ Independence, Missouri. Trouble follows me like a loyal sidekick ever since, no crap! I’m a total wild child, full of spirit and curiosity, and ain’t afraid to show it. Confidence? Oh, you bet I got that in spades! Just look at my majestic coat, like a scrumptious, freshly baked biscuit, all white on the bottom and perfectly toasted on top. Momma Cali was a stunning calico, but I hit the jackpot and got the best of her colors – beige, baby! My bros and sisses are all shades of gray.

My human, Jan, is my faithful minion, and I love keeping her on her toes. When she forgets to close her laptop, you know I’m gonna jump on that opportunity to wreak havoc. I type away on her keyboard and rub against the screen, summoning all sorts of bizarre stuff – from wacky games to random immigration forms. I even had her thinking I’d opened a window for a Dutch dating site until she figured out that I had merely changed the language on her computer and she was getting EVERYTHING in Dutch. Hilarious, right? Oh, and let’s not forget how I mess with her Bluetooth mouse. It’s all in good fun, though! Below are pictures of some of my best results (in Dutch) and me actually working at it:

I’m not shy about asking for what I want, whether it’s some tasty bonito flakes or a cheek rub session. Cuddle? Nah, scratch that! I prefer more like a boss-level pampering. I demand ear massages that are so out-of-this-world amazing, they make me close my eyes and grin like a Cheshire cat!

Now, let me vent about my sworn enemy, Charlie, the old dog in this crib. He growled at me when we first met – total disrespect! So, in return, I’ve gotta assert my dominance by peeing on his pillows. That’ll teach him to mess with the king!

Oh, and don’t even get me started on Spotty, the older female cat. She’s a tough cookie to crack, but I can’t resist play-wrestling with her. She might hiss and growl, but I know deep down she enjoys the wild ride with me!

Then there was Happie, the coolest dog I ever met, may he rest in peace. Miss that dude big time, and I hope to find another pup as chill as him someday.

So, that’s just the beginning, peeps! More adventures of your feline overlord are coming your way soon. Stay tuned and keep up with my shenanigans – it’s gonna be purr-fectly epic! Meow out!